I am still here......

Hi All.....
I just posted to my other blog, but wanted to drop by here to let you know I haven't forgotten you.

Trying to find balance in my life right now has been really difficult...but after two weeks, things are falling into place a bit better. Working in exercise and changing my eating has hit a few rough spots as I am working my way through this....but I haven't given up and that is huge.

I am thinking about trying Juicing? Do any of you do that? What are your thoughts on it? I am not talking about going to that totally...but using it as a way to get in fruits and veggies as I seem to fall short in that area alot.

Take care, things are getting better so I hope to be on more!!
Hugs,
Debbie

Still Here....

As I am reading through my earlier posts....well, I know I said I would share the good, the bad and the really ugly...but apparently I got stuck on whiney!!!! LOL I promise that while I won't sugar coat everything and will share when things get tough, but I won't allow myself to stay in wallow mode.

It has been a very busy few days, and I just didn't get the chance to blog. I finished my sign up for school and will start on the 24th, tried on scrubs and no one died of shock at the size I wore..so that was a plus...LOL. And we did a major yard sale this weekend. You know I hesitated for a bit about doing this, but I have to say this is probably the best one we have ever done. I got rid of lots of clothing and shoes that I just didn't like, didn't fit, didn't feel good in. I has left me with bare bones wardrobe...but one that I can build on. And we celebrated by birthday...yeah!

Today I get back into the exercise/walking groove...I will be going later this evening with friends. I have my music downloaded and I am ready to get going....

So what about you....what positive things are on your agenda???
One thing I am adding that I think we all need to do is have our "pamper list" those things that we do for ourselves to just take care of the women we are and want to be....whether it is a regular mani or pedi.....a great bubble bath with candles, music and a glass of your favorite beverage....just something special just for you.

For me, I am adding the bath....we have a whirlpool tub that has rarely been used lately and I am stocking my "pamper basket". Do you have one??? You just get a basket, tub or box where you put your favorite bath items...bath salts, bath bombs, lotions, scrubbies, herbal bath bags..you get the idea. It is a great place to put those samples that we get in the mail or at our favorite shop or from my fave, Sephora. Throw your candles in there, maybe a favorite relaxing cd and then when you have the time, you aren't running everywhere to find your items, they are all together!!!

Hugs to you all, have a wonderful, happy, healthy evening!!!
Debbie

I so get it.....

Yep, I so get where she is coming from....cause frankly I can relate right now. I have a severe case of the "I don't wanna's". Which is really strange...normally, when I get ready to start something like this, I am so revved up to get started...but then burn out on it. This time I feel like I am draggin my sorry behind every step of the way.
I am making some better choices....Obviously, not because of some overwhelming desire to...LOL (yep, see the picture!!)...but I know I really need to take a big girl pill and do this because it is the best for me.
Left to what I really want to do.....well, honestly, I would just as soon go to bed, throw the covers over my head and stay there. But since I at least have the clarity of thought to realize that it is just not going to happen that way...I am moving forward.
So what did I do positive today??? I had sweets...but they were the low fat Holey Donuts...which are great for my sweet tooth without destroying what I am trying to do. And I made an organic Amy's frozen meal tonight, when I was really, really craving pizza. Small steps......but at least I am moving in the right direction.
Also in the process, it is so easy to just be so darn grumpy and whiny. So I am really striving to look for those "God Stops" in my life. One today was when a friend's hubby found out our upstairs air conditioning was not working. After he yelled at me for not letting them know about it...he came over and had the thing fixed in about 20 minutes....no charge. I can't even tell you what a blessing that was to me. I have just been in this place where I didn't want to bother anyone...trying to handle everything myself...so to have someone let me know that they really wanted to help and it wasn't a bother...it meant alot. Someone else dropped by work last night and left me a card with money from a group of women that I had worked with long ago, but haven't been around in some time.....it was such a surprise and definately the right timing for us. So even with the struggles....I do clearly know who is watching over us......and that means the world.
Sweet dreams all....
Deb

So Far.....

It is easy to get in the habit of playing the blame game....blame the weight and crummy eating habits on my hubby's illness...lack of sleep....stress..... All those things may be true, but then we have to consider that we have free will and can make better choices than we have. That is where I am....years of really bad choices, for what I thought were good reasons, have set a pattern of habits that are not going to be fun to break.
Now I am not stupid....I have been around the whole dieting game since I was in high school. My parents joined Weight Watchers when I was in high school and over the years I have joined several times myself (as a matter of fact, I am sure that there is a wing at the Weight Watchers headquarters with my name on it!!! LOL). So I know the points or the calorie counts for lots of things that I eat on a regular basis...but it does make a difference when you do some sort of food log....it is amazing the things you will find.
For instance, we had found a recipe for a Starbuck's Frappuchino type drink that I love....quick easy...I knew it had lots of sugar, but I used it occasionally when I needed a huge hit of caffeine and sugar to get going in the morning. Imagine my surprise when I finally looked up the points for the ingredients and found that it was 14 points of the 29 points I can have per day!!!! YIKES!!! Those things that you take for granted are the very things that can really trip you up...you need to know what you are eating....look for balance. That is why I am going with the Weight Watchers plan for me....like I said, everyone has to find what works for them..and for me, this is something that I can incorporate into my everyday life in a fairly easy way. I can log my eating and exercising online and on my phone....so I don't have an excuse not to record something. Plus, this gives me a clear picture of when I am not getting enough fruits and veggies...or I am overdoing it with the breads and such.
So I am making progress....I have to get on a regular schedule of exercise....a friend of my son's has a membership for me at the local gym and I have no excuse to not go and at least use the treadmills to get going.
It is not going to be a perfect journey....but I have started. And I know I can do this and that I can feel better. Just know that sometimes it is just about feeling better....for your health and just feeling good in your own skin again. As I tried to explain this to a friend, I started getting emails about self esteem and such. I know that can be an issue...but darn sometimes we just try to make this stuff way to complicated....sometimes it is just about getting our minds into eating what is good for us...PERIOD.
I feel I need to set some goals to shoot for.....so my goal is to exercise at least 3 times a week at the gym (this is just to get started)....and to lose 25 pounds by Halloween. Keep me honest, let me know when you see me slack off on posting and such......
Hugs to you all,
Deb

Yes, It Begins....

So how do I start this.....what do I say and will anyone even read it anyway? Let's try the beginning...

My name is Debbie...this week is my birthday...the big 52.... And I am struggling through the last few months to find my footing, my life and purpose. You see my dear hubby of 25 years passed away in June. He had been ill for some time, and while his death released him from years of pain that he had suffered....it has left such a void of life and purpose for me. During the last few years, sleep was optional, emotional roller coasters of where his health was and how it affected the family. So much of our life focused around him and now there is such a void.

So how do I begin again....how do I find me...where I fit?

I have always read that you shouldn't make major decisions for a year after a huge shift in your life, such as death, divorce and such.....but how do you not make decisions when you have to move forward and live. Bills have to be paid....family cared for...decisions about your home and such.

But I have to find my way.....I have another blog where I talk about my love of crafting and home...but I needed a place that was seperate to work out the life stuff...the good, the bad, and the really, really ugly. And the purpose of this blog is a year of me. I need a place to focus on getting my life together.....health wise, spiritually, emotionally. I know much of this has to do with taking better care of myself. Part of this is that whole diet thing....hate that word. I am a stress eater of olympic gold medal proportions. I know I have to get this under control as I am needing to get back into the workplace after being home for some time....and I just need it to feel better.

If there is anyone reading this that wants to join me...I would love it. I am not going to preach one style or another. If nothing else, over the years I have learned that one size does not fit all whether you are talking clothing, diets, ect....we all have to find what works for us. I will share what I find here about recipes, books, programs....and I would love to hear from you.

My goal with this....to sort out my life.....to lose some weight......to find a fresh start for my life.

I am going back to school in a couple of weeks....at 52 that is scary for me, but I know that to find a decent, well paying job, I am going to need the education....but I also need to be in better shape weight and health wise to do my best.

My goal....to write daily where I am at, what I have found, what works, what doesn't....to be accountable for healthy eating and exercise......and report here the yeah mes!!! and the "I messed up's".......

One year.....one year.....12 months......365 days.....to find me.........healthy, wiser, more confident and able to stand on my own two feet....and reach out to pull someone else up to join the journey.

And so it begins......

Deb